Kahlil Pimpleton

I watched Kahlil Pimpleton, a Central Michigan University wide receiver, give an upbeat postgame interview after he played a key role in a football victory. The interviewer referenced his relatively short height (5’9″) in a sport with giants. Kahlil responded, “Heart over height.” My acclaimed research team is very thorough. They discovered that Heart Over Height is the title of a book written by Nate Robinson, a 5’9″ former NBA basketball player from Seattle. My fact checkers also noted that Marcel Proust was only 5’6′” when he wrote In Search of Lost Time. He was casual about punctuation and one sentence in that work ran longer than any two of my posts mashed together. You can imagine what Phil Huston would say about that wall of text. But I will tell you anyway: “Stamper, you ain’t no Proust.” Which is no insult to an unsophisticated bloke like me who cannot read French even when written in English. In my youth, I was six feet tall. All these short people make me feel guilty that I never reached my full potential with the height advantage I had. This post wandered away from Kahlil Pimpleton but it was a well punctuated search for lost time that you will never get back. I am gambling that the Pimpleton Title is better click bait than Nate Robinson or Marcel Proust.

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