Kahlil Pimpleton

I watched Kahlil Pimpleton, a Central Michigan University wide receiver, give an upbeat postgame interview after he played a key role in a football victory. The interviewer referenced his relatively short height (5’9″) in a sport with giants. Kahlil responded, “Heart over height.” My acclaimed research team is very thorough. They discovered that Heart Over Height is the title of a book written by Nate Robinson, a 5’9″ former NBA basketball player from Seattle. My fact checkers also noted that Marcel Proust was only 5’6′” when he wrote In Search of Lost Time. He was casual about punctuation and one sentence in that work ran longer than any two of my posts mashed together. You can imagine what Phil Huston would say about that wall of text. But I will tell you anyway: “Stamper, you ain’t no Proust.” Which is no insult to an unsophisticated bloke like me who cannot read French even when written in English. In my youth, I was six feet tall. All these short people make me feel guilty that I never reached my full potential with the height advantage I had. This post wandered away from Kahlil Pimpleton but it was a well punctuated search for lost time that you will never get back. I am gambling that the Pimpleton Title is better click bait than Nate Robinson or Marcel Proust.


23 thoughts on “Kahlil Pimpleton

  1. There are many advantages to being of diminutive dimensions. For instance, when boarding a Southwest flight, I have people begging me to take the seat beside them. Also, big, strong, handsome men leap to my aid when hoisting a bag into the overhead compartment. Now I can add to my list of advantages that Proust fans may be astounded by my grasp of the uses of punctuation…in English.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Big, strong handsome men always jump to the aid of a pretty woman. I’ve seen ’em do it and wished I was big and strong, or at least a pretty woman so they would help ME hoist my bags! 😂

      Liked by 2 people

    1. I don’t know why I always wanted to be taller but I admit it seemed really important to me. Luckily I did not drink coffee until the last few years when I realized Starbucks could make it taste like a milkshake!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Are you no longer 72″ high then? When l first met Suze she was 5 feet four inches, now she is five feet 2! They say as we get older we shrink.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yes, I was a quarter inch past 72 inches when I was young and at last year’s annual physical I was below 71 inches and I was stretching as tall as I possibly could to avoid that fate! I expect to shrink further because my Dad sure did.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Dang!

        Many years ago l used to be an apprentice to a plumber.. He was an Irishman with a wicked sense of humour. He was 47 and l was 16.

        One day we were working on a clients drainage system She came home and said “Oh no that pipe is way too long!! Can you not take a few inches off its end??”

        Duncan replied with [in a straight face] “Madam at my age a few off the end would be a disaster!”

        She just looked at him, and did that funny, ‘you did not just say that?”

        We were dying of laughter!!

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Everyone is so tall in professional basketball that it makes the shorter players seem smaller than they are. I used to watch Slick Watts on television when he played for Seattle and he looked so short next to his teammates. But right after he retired, I stood next to him at the start of a Fun Run and was shocked that he was taller than me. He was actually 6’1″ and built like a football player.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I had no idea who Mr. Pimpleton is, so he was not bait for my click. Had his first name been Oliver or Nigel, I might have expected that he was in a GK Chesterton story.

    I once claimed to be 6 feet. When challenged by my Mrs (ouch, right?) I replied that my father always said he was 6 feet and that I was taller than he was. Her retort was that my father was merely the bigger fibber. (Ouch again.)

    Liked by 1 person

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