Ancestry 24

I recently signed up for Ancestry 24, the next generation DNA test where you send your money to a laboratory for analysis. My first money tested ambiguously, so I sent more dollars for the premium AND test which reverse engineers the process. I passed with flying colors. It turns out that I am not related to anyone in my family. In fact, I am not related to myself. The Ancestry 24 people think I am some kind of god. This is obviously not possible because I have been cursing people since the 1950’s and not one of those curses has come to fruition. Of curse, I have lost contact with some of those people because of all the restraining orders. So I cannot account for every spell I tried to cast. I call them misspellings. Although in this age of political correctness, I should probably address them as misterspellings or msspellings. Ancestry 25 release is scheduled for the Spring and will hopefully shed light on my current gender, verify my credit score, and determine if I am dead or alive.

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