Relationship Ratios

My wife and I negotiated a policy of not exchanging gifts with each other this past Christmas. We are struggling to purge possessions, not collect more (especially during a chaotic holiday season). I violated some previous negotiations because Mollie has historically given more than 50% to our relationship and giving her a present could help me balance the scales. But it just makes her madder. A true 50-50 marriage is rare, statistically difficult to accomplish even if you wanted to, considering the complexity of factors involved. Some people hit 50-50 by accident when they both feel they are giving 60%. Often one of the partners is more in love than the other. This can reverse over time and someone can come out even in the long run by erasing an early deficit with a later surplus. Too bad we cannot definitively measure this ratio like height and weight. Couples could proclaim their 53-47 split to friends. Friends surprised that the couple was not at least 56-44 could debate the heretofore hidden reasons. What fun! Equations could change at each annual measurement as low numbers could incentivize some to make positive changes. The bigger the discrepancy, the more likely a divorce but anomalies would always exist. Our own arrangement went well at Christmas and Easter (although two grandchildren wondered why the two of us were without Easter baskets). I also implemented the deal on my wife’s birthday. I did not get her a gift and she did not get me one. She did not seem happy. I will never make it to 50-50 because her moods vary from one day to the next.

One thought on “Relationship Ratios

  1. Only you Geoff would exclaim “what fun” when measuring the percentage of giving in a marriage. Your wife is a saint and I’m not sure you have never even come close to 50 percent.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s