Tom Sawyer was smug about his ability to delegate until Doc Robinson scheduled him for a colonoscopy. Tom reached his peak in his early teens. Last time I saw him, he asked me the best way to use raw broccoli. “Toss it in the trash,” sez I. Just for a couple of seconds to teach it a lesson. Then remove it, rinse off the seven layer bean dip left over from the SuperBowl party, and give it to your 14-year-old granddaughter for her 8th Eighth Grade Valentine Art Project.
It costs nothing to be nice. Some of the nicest people are cheapskates. Valentine’s Day is the time to tell the people you love how much they mean to you. And I am going to do that right after I post this. Actually I delegated that chore to my granddaughter who wanted to earn money to buy expensive jeans with holes in them and tops that she cuts with a scissors so they will hang off her shoulder. I paid her to make personalized Valentines for me to sign. Apparently I will be telling my wife that she is aging like a fine wine while I am aging like a fine banana.
Suicide Squeeze 