Legacies

When exasperated by children ignoring her instructions, my maternal grandmother would say, “This is the last time I am going to tell you…” Her youngest child Anne once famously responded to her mother, “I’m glad it’s the last time because I am sick of hearing it.” Anne grew up to be my aunt and godmother. She became Sister Anne as a Mission Helper of the Sacred Heart but never lost her sense of humor or zest for life. My Dad became her brother-in-law and liked to tell the story of how she ended an argument by telling him, “You are the stupidest man I ever met.” She never contradicted his version of that story. I had many of the same political arguments with my Dad over the years, so I could relate. She would probably be horrified that I remember her by those two incidents because the sum total of who she was could better be described as intelligent, caring, and hard-working. She was tiny, athletic, and disciplined. Physical limitations forced her complete retirement in her 90’s. When I visited and she was shuffling around with a walker, she told me without rancor, “I knew I would get old but never thought it would be like this.” I think she was just warning me that we can picture being older but do not really understand the impact of aging until we live it. I am also realizing other people are choosing what I am remembered for, namely eating twenty Brussels sprouts on a dare as a ten year old, traumatizing my three year old firstborn by letting him watch the original movie version of The Fly, and crashing into my middle son’s car with his other car on a highway entrance ramp.