Jaybird

~ Geoff Stamper

I wanted to walk the cat this morning but I could not find her. My wife says we do not have a cat. Then why does it smell like cat litter in here? My wife says we never had a cat. Then why is cat hair everywhere? My wife says we have never had any pet. She is losing touch with reality. She says I am crazy as a jaybird. I think that is the name of our cat. But I cannot get my sons involved in an intervention until after I find where that damn cat is hiding and prove she exists.

41 thoughts on “Jaybird”

  5. No shit really the coffee my wife drinks smells like cat pee. I walk past her desk or night stand and I have to remind myself “It’s not really cat pee, it’s the coffee.” I was in a world of confusion until I figured it out. Like thank gawd, you know? It’s just the coffee…

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      1. Of course I do. “Oh, that’s not cat pee…” “What’s not cat pee?” “Your coffee.” “You said last time you walked by.”
        But then I find myself standing front of the linen closet wondering where the cheese went, and in the fridge looking for coffee cups.

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      1. Buy a small package of cat treats and hide them in a cupboard. When she is in proximity, open the cupboard and yell, “Aha!” Let her then explain why they are in the cupboard if you don’t have a cat.

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  18. Hahaha. Cat can be walked. For Sure. I’ve never seen that but I often wonder why it is not done. If a person get a very expensive cat, the person will not want to just let it loose in the neighborhood, which is the privilege enjoyed by regular cats. So the cat walk (I mean walk the cat not the real catwalk) is necessary.

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