Precocious

I was precocious from the get go. I was a first child and a first grandchild on both sides of the family. I laughed first before others got the last laugh. I was the first graduate of my driver’s education class to cause an accident when I crashed one family car into the other one. I always completed Chemistry quizzes and tests first and yet still managed two D’s after Mr. Wood upgraded my first semester F to avoid seeing me in summer school. I was consistently first to throw up at teenage drinking parties. I started the Honk if you like Peace and Quiet movement (H4PQ) in college. I won an award for my discovery that the perfect place to store dead batteries is in a flashlight. I acquired Old Person Smell long before any of my peers. The list is endless but my postings are on a strict 300 word limit because that is the longest I can go without falling asleep. I understand that some of my readers have an even lower tolerance before they doze off. You would think this would lead to tighter writing and less rambling but I still had to pepper this post with redundant adjectives and divide compound nouns into two separate words just to stretch to 224 words before I gave up and hit the publish button.