Call Me, Lilibet

Prince Harry of the Royals became a free agent after a successful career on the team coached by the legendary Queen Elizabeth II. But like Tom Brady wanting success apart from Coach Belichick, Harry and his wife Duchess Meghan crave a life away from the Royal Company and the slimelight of the British Press. They have struggled with media coverage that would be traumatic for Harry, considering what his mother endured during his childhood. Irony does exist, though, that an escape to private life is hyped with blockbuster interviews conducted by James Corden and Oprah Winfrey. The necessity for doing the Oprah interview may be clearer after its airing but seems like a way to stir up even more controversy and turmoil for the couple. I am uninitiated in the ways of Royalty but nothing seems to have changed on the surface. I understand the couple will still be rich, espousing good causes, having babies, and will retain their fame even if they do not cure cancer or negotiate lasting peace in the Middle East. Being a Royal undoubtedly gets old fast but my wife and I are also getting old fast and up for a new challenge. We are applying for the opening created by Harry and Meghan’s departure. We would like a four year contract with a retirement clause that lands us in Montecito or somewhere comparable near Santa Barbara. We even enjoyed our six years in Wichita, Kansas, so a shorter stint in Merry Olde England with an escape clause to California would be an especially effective recruiting tactic. I am a narcissist who craves even bad publicity. And I have also become accustomed to failing over the years, so there would be no hard feelings if things do not work out.