Gopher Glory

I was over 40 and had worked for a large manufacturing company for 13 years before being transferred into Labor Relations. I was already a senior manager and somewhat old for the gopher rung on a new ladder. Apparently someone had finally recognized my good penmanship because my first assignment was to take notes at a Negotiation Table across from a Union representing about 20,000 white collar workers. Actually my first day was spent procuring and delivering alcohol for backroom meetings where real negotiations take place. The secret Company vault of booze was presumably primarily used for multi million dollar sales celebrations with customers. This was uncomfortable because my previous job included terminating employees for possessing alcohol on company premises. The vault keeper knew what I needed, especially for the vice presidents in the backroom. I loaded my car and headed to the fancy hotel in a suburb of Seattle. Getting the cases into my hotel room took many elevator trips trying to hide liquor bottles because the hotel rates for our four week stay were based on an assumption that they would be selling us food and alcohol. We did not use cell phones in the 1980’s, so I spent my next day in the lobby waiting to intercept the ranking vice president’s wife who was shopping at a nearby mall. I would then escort her to our secure floor without making her wait a few minutes for someone to come down and get her. I also picked up group restaurant tabs allowing the next lowest ranking manager to authorize the expenses. Everything was confidential so I regaled friends and family with fictional stories of how I verbally outdueled union leaders. I also recounted amusing anecdotes about the company gopher without revealing that I was the gopher.