Hyphen-dash

Hyphenated. Non-hyphenated. Jon from Wichita forwarded those two words to me from a HumorForMe.com poster dripping with irony. Hyphens are just dashes. The dash in President-elect is well-known but it smugly demands the fancier title of hyphen. My friend Jon and I worked together splitting hairs in Kansas in the 1990’s. His passion was sailing. I came from Seattle which touts itself as the U.S. city with the most per capita boats, so I was surprised he was racing a catamaran in a state so landlocked. Once when a bad snowstorm hit the evening commute, Jon passed a snowplow going too slow for his taste. Jon’s van slid off the highway as he pulled in front of the plow. Surely that irony was not lost on the snowplow driver who is undoubtedly still telling the story every time it snows. What I like about Jon is that he told me what happened the next day while I drove him to the impound lot to retrieve his vehicle. He could have omitted the detail about passing the snowplow but did not. Reporting the full truth allows for learning. For the last quarter of a century, I have lectured my children and grandchildren to never pass the snowplow. Or is it snow-plow? I noticed Jon’s tires were too worn to be driving safely in ice and snow. So I also warn my progeny not to drive on bald tires. Of course, my words merely incentivize my sons to pass snowplows whenever possible. They tell me they do it on bald tires. I am fairly certain they are mocking me with my own brand of humor. At least they acknowledge that they now fully comprehend the true value of my teachings on the proper use of hyphens.