Plan B

So many people are unhappy after every election. Maybe one or more of your candidates lose or you voted the lesser of two evils. Some people like being unhappy. Millionaires, movie stars, and top athlete prove that. Even a President can be unhappy. In 2016, many disgruntled voters committed to leave the country if Donald Trump won the Presidency. If anyone left, I did not notice. Exodus pledges surfaced again during this year’s campaign. I made a list of options so I could join the conversations like the ones where everyone lies about what they would do if they won the lottery. I started with resolutions outside my control like my death or hospitalization. Divorce also came to mind. If Melania Trump divorced Donald, that might make me feel better but taking pleasure from the misfortunes of others is not cool. So I considered positive actions in my control. I could hike the Appalachian Trail for six months. That dream was postponed fifteen years ago when my brother Kevin’s proposed expedition was canceled because too many registrants were under the age of five and the adults did not want to camp or carry large packs. We mostly liked the idea of losing weight while eating all the ice cream and candy we wanted. And we loved having Trail Names. Mine was Motel Man. Canada is my preferred foreign destination. The best of both worlds would be relocating to Hawaii. I could hunker down anywhere off the beaten path and write the great American novel again. I was somewhat annoyed when Biden’s victory ended much of the fun discussion. Now I tell people my Plan B was a four year Missionary Trip to Ghana because that is definitely cool.