Twice Removed

This post was intended for May 6th but WordPress insisted on publishing it this past Thursday. After twice removing it, I have given in since email subscribers have seen it anyway. Today’s regularly scheduled post has been moved to who knows where.

I am a second cousin twice removed from the mystic Edgar Cayce. Before they try to remove me again, I am documenting my gift of premonition passed to me by my Kentucky grandmother Lucille Cayce. My dreams began in high school. As a Junior, I had a premonition about flunking Chemistry. I thought cheating would thwart the prediction but I failed at that too. My Mother’s dream of travelling to Sweden while I accepted a Nobel Prize turned into a nightmare realization that her oldest child was doomed to life as a lawyer. Truth be told (a rarity on this site), my Mom had earlier implemented contingency plans by giving birth to six more children (one at a time) after I was born.

When in college, I had a premonition that my girlfriend since high school was going to dump me. She did so in both my Freshman and Sophomore year, so I was twice removed by two other boyfriends. My Mother thought said girlfriend was making a very big mistake. So Mom and I reconciled and bonded over that truth, forgetting all about the Chemistry experiment that blew up in our faces. I drowned my sorrow on the party circuit and one night discovered an egg salad sandwich buried behind all the beer in the refrigerator. I had a premonition it would make me sick but I had the munchies and poor judgment, so I removed it twice, once from the refrigerator and then again from my stomach.

I grew weary of fighting the premonitions. When I dreamt I would flunk the Bar Exam, I removed myself from the Bar Review course, partied, and flunked. On the second try I was shocked and pleasantly surprised that examiners had removed essays in favor of Multi-State multiple choice questions. My premonitions on answers finally paid off in that Guess for Success environment. One of my recurring premonitions is that I will live to be 100. So far so good. I am 75 but look 85, so I am only fifteen years away and counting on advancements in Chemistry to help bridge that gap.


66 thoughts on “Twice Removed

    1. Yep, all of a sudden WordPress is not allowing me to schedule in advance as I have done for over six years. While experimenting today trying to get the schedule button back, they did it to me again by publishing my first draft of Some People which I also removed. I am sure my incompetence is the root cause but will give up for the time being and accept the inconvenience of scheduling only when I am actually prepared to publish.

      Liked by 3 people

    1. I have been posting every other Saturday and I was thinking of possibly turning this one into more of a Mother’s Day post closer to that time. Some of my drafts change radically in the gestation period and others go out as first written. But all my little attempts to control any aspect of my life are so easily thwarted, usually by my own incompetence!

      Liked by 3 people

  1. I had a premonition that I would prevision someone writing a post that would be clever enough to penetrate the lingering fog of my virus riddled brain and all I had to do was keep going through my WP Reader. And here I am. 😀

    I worked as a paralegal in a large Denver law firm for 3 years after I finished grad school. One of the clerks said to me one day, “So what do you think? You’re going to get promoted to attorney or something?” Meaning “Yours is an under-appreciated dead end job, sweet cheeks.” I signed up for the LSAT. I was tooling along on that thing when, 2/3s through I realized I would pass and I would go to law school. The thought terrified me. I picked up my papers, walked to the proctor, turned it in and walked out. Oddly, I still passed. You’re a better man than I am, Charlie Brown.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. These things do happen… I remember accepting a solo two hour gig on the classical flute (!) ~ only problem being that I had literally not touched the thing in a year. ‘I’ll brush up,’ I told myself. I didn’t. But I still aced the gig. Go figure.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Every time WordPress rolls out a new feature, it breaks at least two old features. Eventually it will all be so broken they will have to scrap the whole thing and start all over. Those of us who refuse to use the block editor will be vindicated. That is my premonition…

    Liked by 5 people

  3. You are so right about the phrase “twice removed”. As a non-native speaker, I can never wrap my mind around the meaning of a twice removed relationship. Also it baffles my mind why English speakers would try to describe a relationship as if they want to get rid of the connection by using “remove”.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Good point about the word “remove.” It just refers to generations so it would probably make more sense to just say “second cousins by two generations” or something else I have not had time to think about.

      Liked by 2 people

  4. It seems that remove actually involves two moves – the move and the re-move. So for someone twice removed, does that actually mean four-times moved? And is that the same thing as one run in baseball? I think you should be able to get another half-dozen posts out of this.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Hundred sounds like a great number, Geoff. And being twice removed isn’t so bad. It’s just being moved twice for no apparent reason. Lol. Wish you well and keep listening to your instincts. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Maybe your Mom can win the trip to Finland since she didn’t get to go to Sweden. Hopefully you won’t be twice removed from the winner’s list. 😄
    I hope your premonition about living to 100 is right!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I suspect I will be like my Grandmother Lucille who died a couple days shy of 94. I was surprised to find she was telling people at the Senior Center that she was 100. She thought she was, looked like she could be, and probably felt like she was. My family will probably start giving me annual 100th birthday parties if I get removed from reality.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. I am so glad you had a schedule problem with WP, because that happened to me on April Fools Day. I convinced myself they did it on purpose. lol. I feel better now. I guess we both have time to learn our lessons as we climb to 100, or lose our minds and that it doesn’t matter , does it?

    You always inspire the mind, Geoff. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

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