Double Dip Wellness

After a week of not posting about myself, demand is skyrocketing for another one. The Pandemic disrupted the flow of my anti-Narcissism cream when pharmaceutical companies prioritized the elimination of Covid-19. Although Narcissism is more dangerous than Coronavirus, bias against Narcissists is open and blatant. Covid-19 vaccinations are free but now that anti-Narcissism cream deliveries have resumed, I am charged triple the 2019 rate for the medication. The price gouging has been attributed to a spike in the Narcissist population which is disingenuous because most Narcissists are in denial and not using the cream. My own awareness stems from a relatively mild condition and a wife who reminds me of my disease nearly every day. She also claims the cream is not working. But ever since I started applying it to my butt, my rear end has become more modest. It no longer appears unclothed in public and has stopped twerking in private.

My daily medication for Hedonism is Placebo but I call it ice cream. The pharmaceutical companies are now making it in smaller containers to disguise another form of price gouging. I squeeze my own Anti-Hypocrisy juice and supplement it with the rigorous daily exercise program GOOB (Getting Out Of Bed). It exercises all muscle groups. I am considered an idiot savant for the way I negotiate the path from bed to bathroom in the middle of the night. Like playing Wordle, I have six chances to win every day. I am finally getting enough sleep by more regularly dozing off in Church, at the movie theater, and during testimony at Narcissist Anonymous meetings. I have also created extra time in my day by eliminating personal hygiene rituals except for the double dipper of jogging while I brush my teeth.


64 thoughts on “Double Dip Wellness

  1. as you know, the issue with getting access to the cream is all about each narcissist believing they are most important and therefore insisting on getting it first. it sounds like you have mastered work-arounds to deal with the shortage, and why you are continuing to thrive.

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  2. The ice cream thing really gets to me. It’s like, we will keep charging you for the half-gallon price but we’re not giving you a half-gallon anymore. Or if they do, they charge more. The “gallon bucket” of ice cream used to be 5 quarts. And while you’re stockpiling all the anti-narcissism cream I’m still waiting for the VA to send my, “Don’t be so grumpy, Grampaw” powder.

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  3. For my narcissistic exercise, I actually go to a gym! I sweat and bend and pull and push and huff and puff, but by the time I get my tennis shoes tied, it is time to leave. So much for THAT membership. 🤠

    Liked by 4 people

  4. A singularly well-stated explanation of the narcissist state of mind from a fellow sufferer. So many don’t understand the import of us to us; those other grey drab run-of-the-mill tedious drones who fail to appreciate the dazzling brilliance at our core. Thanks Geoff, I couldn’t have have put it better myself.
    Signed E. G. O. Lookamee.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. I was in a band one time and the “star” of the show was a certifiable narcissist. One night, in the set before he came out for last one we surprised the audience with “I want to hold my hand”, “I love how I love me” “I honestly love me”, “I can make me feel good” “Hello, I love me”… I have considered rounding up a bunch of those tunes and starting a Muzak channel for the “I got me, babe” crowd.

      Liked by 4 people

      1. Nice set up for the Star of the show. Was he too self-absorbed to hear the irony? But your Muzak station, that could work. Pity i-tunes is already taken. imagine, the artiste could say, ‘collated and compiled just for me.’ A couple more, perhaps? ‘Everything I Am,’ I Can’t Stop Loving Me.’ But surely not ‘A Too- Fool Such As I.’

        Liked by 4 people

      2. All of those and more. “I’ve grown accustomed to my face” “I couldn’t live without my love”… we did 4 sets. He did 2 and 4. We were “forbidden” from playing anything in our sets that would make his set look as bad as it was. That was a Saturday night at Hilton Head South Carolina and we burned it down. He fired all,of us after the show. Unlike the times we hung around so he could hire us back and play the next night, we all left.

        Liked by 4 people

      1. I dunno. I’ve known some flashy dentists and chiropractors. Every politician or those who run against them. Hairdressers. Upscale clothing salespeople. The occasional reputable mechanic. Men and women oh the cloth. Even lawyers. 😳 Particularly the ambulance chasers who buy every slot left over by the Medicare advantage plans. The only people with better hair dye jobs and teeth are televangelists.

        Liked by 3 people

  5. The problem with the anti-Narcissism cream is that it only works for a certain period because narcissism is mutating into different strains. Lately, I see it at my gym where aging men and women parade around in skimpy clothes, seemingly unaware that they’re no longer 25 and haven’t been in about 50 years.🙄

    Liked by 3 people

  6. Well, having no experience whatsoever with narcissistic behavior except from everyone else I know, that cream sounds like a wonderful balm if it indeed works. While I have never twerked, I have no doubt I could pull it off. I just wonder if it would be welcome for others to witness. My wife reminds me of stuff every day also. What a coincidence.

    Liked by 4 people

  7. Keep taking care of yourself. We always need the daily dose of laughter to meet the daily required allowance for the day.
    Plus making one laugh about narcissism takes talent which you achieved! My soon to be Ex-brother-in-law needs several gallons of that anti-narcissistic cream! Can you specially order some for him? 😉

    Liked by 4 people

  8. The GOOB plan is alright as far as it goes, but I am working towards the next level SIB (Stay in bed) regimen. The problem is that nobody will bring me the Placebo. As for the Narcissist cream shortage, you can cut back on the dose and start writing about me.

    Liked by 3 people

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