Dandruff Mysteries

I used to have a dandruff problem. Or maybe I just dreamt I had dandruff. Either way, it was troublesome. I was considered a bewildered deep thinker because I was constantly scratching my head. I wore white shirts to work and avoided dark clothing. The more I used anti-dandruff shampoos, the more dandruff I seemed to shed. I lost three quarters of an inch of height and my scalp looked like I was running a carrot grater over it. I was convinced that anti-dandruff shampoos were actually causing the dandruff. Eventually I switched to baby shampoo because I figured babies did not get dandruff. But then my hair started falling out. Perhaps this explains why babies in my family never had hair until my daughter-in-law from El Salvador produced two of my grandchildren. We thought it was a miracle when Noemi was born with a full head of dark hair but her brother Diego outdid that when he arrived with a head and back full of black hair. After panicking that baby shampoo caused my hair loss, I now use whatever shampoo my wife abandons, the grandkids leave behind when they visit, or the neighbors discard in their trash. I particularly like hoarding complimentary hotel shampoos and squeezing those little bottles into one big container. I do not know why that process brings me such joy. Remarkably I do not have a dandruff problem now that it does not matter. I needed to be dandruff-free back when I was dating. Well, not exactly dating, more like asking girls out on dates.

While proofreading the above, I reluctantly allowed my ten year old granddaughter Zofia (who manipulates me easily) to read over my shoulder. Her critique: “As one writer to another, this is good so far but needs a better ending.”

62 thoughts on “Dandruff Mysteries

  1. When someone tells you that you are “flaky”, they don’t always mean you have dandruff. 🤣 Loved Zofia’s “As one writer to another” statement. Dating is like fishing. Some attempts end with just a wet worm.

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  2. Tell Zofia the trick to endings is knowing when to stop. And when you think you’re there delete the last three lines cause 99 times out of a hundred it’s the author tidying up and wiping the scene’s (ahem) or splainin’.
    Combining the hotel gimme bottles is genius.

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      1. Having done that forever it pays to listen more than talk. Spin it out in small chunks and read the audience. I was going on a clinic tour in Mexico and in pre flight when I checked in with where I was going, to a person they asked me not to be like all those otherLA gringos with their shit (Jacuzzi) jazz and bad American TV jokes.

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      2. Lite jazz, smooth jazz, fuszak, jacuzzi jazz, shit jazz, yacht rock,

        https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smooth_jazz

        I was working for a synth company, a friend called me, needed a part, wanted me to run interference with service. Wanted it shipped to the cruise line office in Bimini. Yeah? What the hell are you doing on a cruise ship off Bimini? He wouldn’t tell me, said I wouldn’t send him the part if I knew. Back and forth, finally he says “Kenny G”. I said the part’s on the way, the gig is shame enough.

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  3. My husband collects bars of soap from hotels. He has little use for the shampoos any more, but I have approximately nine hundred boxes of tiny bars of soap in my bathroom closet. He can’t stop. He won’t stop. At least I haven’t had to buy a bar of soap in twenty years.

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  4. Well, ending with a grandchild anecdote is always a plus.
    I done larn’t me somethin’ again on this here edukashunal blog. I’ve always hoarded the little shampoos and such from hotels but I never thought of the idea of squeezing them all into one big container. Thanks for the handy household tip!

    Liked by 5 people

  5. I think dandruff is any day better than hair loss. At least you still have hair to worry about. And this blog post is great start to finish. Complimentary ‘anything’ has a serene quality about it. Great writing, Geoff. Thanks for the approval, Zofia. 🙂

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  6. Maybe your dandruff problem was because you were stressed out about what shampoo to use and when you gave up it went away. Also, hoarding complimentary shampoos is the best, I always get too excited about complimentary things!

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    1. My wife sometimes gets excited about going to a baseball game because they will be giving away a tote bag or a bobble head figure. I have to remind her we want neither of those things and are trying to get rid of the ones we’ve got!

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  7. There’s something about those complimentary mini shampoo and soapettes that are so inviting. It feels a sin to not scoop ’em into the last free corner of your travel case. Knowing you got something out of your trip to the El Fandango Astoria or Fritz Hotel helps balance the desolate empty feeling left in the wallet. And as for Hair loss? Dandruff drifts on the collar? incipient seborrhea? Shave it off, shake it off, scratch that.

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  8. Haha! I loved this entire post, especially the critique by Zofia. (Everybody’s a critic.)🤣 I don’t know about dandruff, but I’m at that point where I’m tempted to cut it all off. “It all” is a reference to the little remaining. I didn’t notice how bald I was until the sunburns regularly started upstairs. Thank goodness I like baseball caps.

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  9. It is getting harder and harder to score shampoo. Now some of the hotels/motels have a liquids dispenser on the tub/shower wall. The little bars of soap for the sink area are really small and you only get one bar.

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    1. The now popular dispensers of shampoos, conditioners, and body gel have thrown me for a loop. No freebies. Hotels/motels must save money filling from bulk containers, knowing that even I would not pump the stuff into big personal containers or take unbolted televisions! Killjoys.

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  10. I think your mixture of random bottles of hotel shampoo have resulted in the cure for both dandruff and hair loss. But are you now going to tell us that you didn’t keep records of brands or proportions? Such a shame.

    Good for Zophia. A good ending requires a little suspense, which is why I like to

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