Dishwasher Duels

My philosophy on loading the dishwasher is to get the dishes as clean as possible. My wife views the exercise as a geometric puzzle you win if you can squeeze every dish, glass and utensil you own into the appliance at one time. This week she was standing on the other side of the dishwasher literally rearranging each item as soon as I let go of it. I was trapped in a version of speed chess. Normally her moves would be considered defiantly aggressive but she was doing this as unconsciously as flicking away nats. [She would spell “nats” with a “g” because she crams as many letters as possible in any word.] I paused to ask, “You know I am in the room, right?” At least I rearrange her work when she is in the laundry room overfilling the washer. I resigned from my dishwasher workstation and exited the kitchen to check if water was overflowing from the washing machine. Normally my sudden departure would be considered a defiantly aggressive gesture but was actually an act of loving deference. Besides, I would be the last one up at night and would return later to rearrange and run the dishwasher. This disrupts her plan to add dirty breakfast dishes the next morning but is a minor setback in a war she always wins. We already have separate sinks in our master bathroom. So my proposal for two dishwashers in our kitchen remodel is not really as crazy as our contractor claims.

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68 thoughts on “Dishwasher Duels

  1. people are insanely protective of their dishwasher loading strategies. they would rather rinse and ‘correctly place’ 732 loads of dishes themselves, rather than have one load and let someone else put ‘incorrectly’ put the top of a Tupperware container in the place where a summer season bread plate ‘is supposed to go.’ and the silverware, forget about it! don’t you dare mix species! a knife in the same section as a spoon?! good god! and don’t even think about placing some in the upward position and others in the downward position! a virtual death match.

    Liked by 7 people

    1. Actually, I’ve never been able to see that rinsing dishes to a shine, followed by filling and then emptying a dishwasher (stoop work) is any easier than just washing them into an old fashioned countertop drain…

      Liked by 5 people

  2. Having been involved in thousands of kitchen remodels at this point, I can honestly say that I have yet to see a kitchen with two dishwashers. That said, your contractor’s job is to smile and nod and tell you how amazing your idea is before going behind your back and telling everyone how much of an idiot you are.

    Liked by 8 people

  3. Haha! I think there can be a dividable solution. I can imagine you two sneaking around each other’s backs – dirty clothes and dishes instead of dirty secrets. Thank God for that! Thanks for the smiles and laughs. Needed them. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I’ve never once run my dishwasher in this apartment (I’ve been here 4 years) or the last one (I was there five years). Lol. I don’t even know if the thing works. I still wash dishes by hand. It’s just me, and I rarely get company over to make a bigger mess, so it’s not that bad on my end. Lol.

    Liked by 8 people

  5. I am in the same fortunate position as trE. It’s just me and rarely enough company to make for a lot of dishes. I wash mine by hand and I assume my dishwasher works. Of course, I could say the same thing about the oven since I survive by using my countertop convection oven exclusively. Love this post. Humorous on so many levels. Hope you enjoy your 4th, my friend!

    Liked by 6 people

  6. A friend of mine is a counselor and she jokes that most couples that come to her usually take a few sessions to get to the real root problem: how to correctly load the dishwasher.

    Liked by 7 people

  7. Why has no one yet invented a dishwasher that is simple. Add the fact that they do not clear the table, wipe down work tops and put the stuff way and it’s a poor show. The first friend to get a dishwasher many years ago told me that after dinner she just switched on the dishwasher and sat down with a glass of wine. When I finally got one I realised she had been lying.

    Liked by 5 people

      1. Hehehehe absolutely – but it is a thought πŸ™‚

        Always remind sme of the seventies childhood joke ….

        “Mummy Mummy! Can l lick the bowl please?”
        “No, how many times have l told you! You can flush it like everyone else!”

        Liked by 2 people

  8. I was relieved of laundry duties a while ago. After leaving a sodden prize-winning Lotto ticket tucked in my pocket, spinning and tumbling for an hour… That, along with the load of clothes dotted and spotted with the remains of a tissue I’d left in the other pocket didn’t help either. But, if I take away the twelve bucks in lost prize money,I think I can still say I came out the winner. Accidents will happen!
    Dishwasher though? Here the sweet spouse and I agree.Toss it all in, fill it and run it through; let the chipped plates lay where they fall. At least we share that philosophy. Emptying it? Thats always my job.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Ah, the tissue disaster I had totally forgotten about until you reminded me. We also have a problem with emptying half the dishwasher, getting distracted, and not remembering whether the remaining dishes are clean or dirty.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Just the wife and I, so between us we wash the dishes each night and the dishwasher remains silent…until several weeks has passed and we run it to make sure a) it still works and b) somewhere along the way we were made aware running it periodically keeps it in good working order. It doesn’t seem to mind only being called upon so infrequently. And, I stay in my lane on the dishwasher…because my domain is the washer and dryer (probably because I’ve never turned anything pink that wasn’t supposed to be…yet).

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Never one to micro manage, I applaud my partner’s every feeble effort at domestic chores. Besides, once the dogs get through licking the dishes, there’s not much for the dishwasher to do. I don’t tell him when the go from the floor to the cabinet.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. What always got me was the idea of pre-rinsing the dishes which might as well have been pre-washing them. It doesn’t happen so much anymore. Whoever starts filling the machine has to finish it, though.

    Liked by 2 people

  12. Our arrangement is whoever does the cooking gets the night off from dishes. Since my wife is a far better cook than me, I’ve gotten rather skillful at cramming stuff into every usable ounce of space.

    Liked by 3 people

  13. haha~2 dishwashers! πŸ˜‚ The remodeling contractor would have a question like, “oh, you have a big group of people coming over everyday?”πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ And they’ll introduce you an appliance sales person for professionally built fridge, the huuuuge oneπŸ€£πŸ‘

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Haha~ thank you, I hope so too! But I’m not really confident to keep it neat and clean…I tend to press any button before reading manual instructionπŸ˜‚

        Liked by 1 person

  14. Hmm. At my house the dishwasher is magically full of clean dishes each morning which I then unload. My Mrs finds a magically empty dishwasher later every day. It is a system that both of us are afraid to mess with.

    Liked by 2 people

  15. Hahaha, two dishwashers. You make me laugh. There are always dirty dishes to wash. Sigh… Actually the two sinks in the master bathroom is a great idea since may and woman have different preferences for sink usage.

    Liked by 2 people

  16. Have you considered that maybe she intentionally doesn’t do it your way so that you will go ahead and do more of the chores and she can spend more time doing anything else? Actually, forget I asked that. I don’t know your wife, but I feel disloyal to wives everywhere asking such a question.

    Liked by 2 people

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