Part I. Guest Post

My late brother Kevin had nine followers on Twitter. Excerpted tweets from 2009:

6/12: Bench pressing 275 pounds

6/13: Waiting for Obama to return my call.

6/14: Imagining improbable couplings.

6/15: Getting ready for strawberry-picking field trip with my Empathy class.

6/16: Reading Proust with one hand tied behind my back.

6/17: Reorganizing the wine cellar.

6/18: Having my doubts.

6/19: Researching website concepts for Halibut for Humanity.

6/20: Rotating taillights

6/22: Chafing under Tour de France steroid regulations.

6/23: Taking the road to Hawi.

6/27: Moonwalking.

6/28: Sorting a can of mixed nuts.

6/29: Tuning the oboe.

7/01: Sharpening my spatial skills.

7/03: Seamlessly slipping my word-of-the-day, susurrus, into conversations.

7/07: Lobbying Hawaiians to add at least one more letter to their alphabet.

7/08: Caving to pressure from the kids for playdates with Sasha and Melia.

7/14: Working on “Hefeweizen” with speech therapist.

7/15: Getting coffee cup handle to stop at the front of the microwave.

7/16: Daydreaming about existentialism.

7/20: Constructing a giant gorilla out of coat hangers.

7/21: Decoding the clues planted in “Suicide Squeeze.”

7/22: Regretting giving the kids tomato paste for their art project.

7/23: Setting clocks back to Standard Time so I don’t have to worry about it in November.

7/24: Experimenting with trombone adhesives in the basement.

7/26: Getting refill on placebos.

7/27: Inventing small, adhesive-backed squares of paper that you can write on and stick anywhere.

7/28: Marshalling documents that prove I was born in the United States.

7/30: Deducing that a warm and personal invitation to the Summer Rock ‘n Roll Party is, in fact, a clever form letter.

8/01: Friending near-strangers because of approaching birthday.

8/03: Pitching investors on “Feel the Burn,” a combined aerobics studio and cigarette shop.”

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