Part I. Guest Post

My late brother Kevin had nine followers on Twitter. Excerpted tweets from 2009:

6/12: Bench pressing 275 pounds

6/13: Waiting for Obama to return my call.

6/14: Imagining improbable couplings.

6/15: Getting ready for strawberry-picking field trip with my Empathy class.

6/16: Reading Proust with one hand tied behind my back.

6/17: Reorganizing the wine cellar.

6/18: Having my doubts.

6/19: Researching website concepts for Halibut for Humanity.

6/20: Rotating taillights

6/22: Chafing under Tour de France steroid regulations.

6/23: Taking the road to Hawi.

6/27: Moonwalking.

6/28: Sorting a can of mixed nuts.

6/29: Tuning the oboe.

7/01: Sharpening my spatial skills.

7/03: Seamlessly slipping my word-of-the-day, susurrus, into conversations.

7/07: Lobbying Hawaiians to add at least one more letter to their alphabet.

7/08: Caving to pressure from the kids for playdates with Sasha and Melia.

7/14: Working on “Hefeweizen” with speech therapist.

7/15: Getting coffee cup handle to stop at the front of the microwave.

7/16: Daydreaming about existentialism.

7/20: Constructing a giant gorilla out of coat hangers.

7/21: Decoding the clues planted in “Suicide Squeeze.”

7/22: Regretting giving the kids tomato paste for their art project.

7/23: Setting clocks back to Standard Time so I don’t have to worry about it in November.

7/24: Experimenting with trombone adhesives in the basement.

7/26: Getting refill on placebos.

7/27: Inventing small, adhesive-backed squares of paper that you can write on and stick anywhere.

7/28: Marshalling documents that prove I was born in the United States.

7/30: Deducing that a warm and personal invitation to the Summer Rock ‘n Roll Party is, in fact, a clever form letter.

8/01: Friending near-strangers because of approaching birthday.

8/03: Pitching investors on “Feel the Burn,” a combined aerobics studio and cigarette shop.”


41 thoughts on “Part I. Guest Post

  1. Trombone adhesives. I feel his pain. I spent a lot of time rotating taillights on my ’74 MG Midget 45 years ago. I believe the avoidance of inserting word of the day into written or spoken intercourse is the root cause of my high blood pressure. Compiling an enchiridion of your brother’s works must have been a mighty task. Shit. I did it, didn’t I?

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Besooth susurrus what a guy, l pray tell thee always twasn’t wonderded who twath the otherfellow who was so thought upon improbable couplings. whilst alphetasizing the Hawaiian alphabet – now l know, twas him!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. When kin have gone you gather together what is left and good. He sounds one of a kind. And I sooo want to rip off ‘Daydreaming About Existentialism’ as a book title. Would fit right in between Vonnegut and Brautigan.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. “Getting refill on placebos” pretty much sums up my life view. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it and if a placebo will fix it, don’t take something with side effects. I miss your brother even though I’ve only had a glimpse of him through your interpretation of him.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I see quite the similarity in your sense of humor. I’m guessing one of your parents or grandparents must have also liked to joke around.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. It is obvious you and your brother were cut from the same cloth. What a wonderful way to remember him. You share the same gift of a rapier wit and grand sense of humor. These are all so good I cannot pick a favorite. Love them all!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Every single one of these is brilliant. If there were more people like your brother on Twitter, I might have stayed on it (and followed more than 3 people).

    I’ll bet holidays with the extended Stamper family were a hoot

    Liked by 1 person

  8. LOL! Great stuff, all of it! 7/15. I did not think ANYONE else on the planet, nay, in the universe, thought about trying to get the coffee cup in the microwave to stop with the handle toward the front. Hilarious. I try every time to position it so that will happen. Sometimes I succeed! ~Ed.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Indeed it is, and a durn serious real thing, too! Let it not be forgotten. πŸ˜‰

        btw, thank you for being the first person to ‘like’ my ‘LIFE’ post – six and a half years after I posted it! Haha.

        Liked by 1 person

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