17. Free Food

Cartel Hogg was enraged when I accused his family of controlling air on Lemmingo. So per a settlement agreement, I am posting a more balanced account of their role. Historically the Hoggs have promoted free food if you eat plants, fruits, flowers, grasses, and twigs on the public lands. Of course, if you want Zundu Mochi or Cereal Crusted Eggplant, you have to cough up bitcoins at Caesar Hogg’s Palacedome.

Caesar follows a spiritual leader who preaches about love and peace. Some Lemmingolian prophets emphasize meditation and prayer as key to enlightenment. Others advocate good works and unselfish acts. A few combine all those elements. Caesar cherry picks a message of rendering unto all the big and little Caesars what is theirs. The Caesars have constructed artificial boundaries on Lemmingo to segregate and inhibit the unworthy from crossing borders to the flows of milk and honey. This preempts and saves afterlife authorities the trouble of making so many judgments later. Lemmingo is a primitive planet, so the radical concept of sharing is in its infancy. Many are still hoarding and arguing about whether you can take your Bitcoins into The Great Beyond. Judgment Day has been moved up to Every Day where everyone is a judge judging the other judges.

Lemmingo has been roiling ever since Earthlings arrived and leased land for their space station. Earthling immigrants are a threat to the established social and economic order. The controversy is far from settled but the newcomers have infused cryptocurrencies, jobs, and diseases into the economy in return for a lease on a small plot of land for their space station. Arguments are swirling in the Lemmingolian Congress and court system. If I say more, Cookie claims I will violate both the letter and spirit of the settlement agreement.

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