Blue Teeth

My wife now has a Tile that allows her phone to beep her keys. And her keys can beep her phone. What a genius reciprocal feature. Except she can outfox any failsafe system. She is capable of losing her phone and keys at the same time. Sometimes they are not even in the same place. We plan to put our television in charge of beeping the remote because we cannot easily misplace the television set. The universal remote connects us to the universe. I want to order car keys that beep when we pull into the driveway and keep sounding off until deposited in the key drawer. Just like the technology for seat belts which beep until buckled. Since we pay tens of thousands of dollars for these vehicles, they should come with five sets of keys. But I think we are actually headed for keyless systems. One unnerving technology anomaly I have noticed: If my wife is on her cellphone in the house when I turn on the car in the garage, bluetooth will transfer her conversation onto the car speaker. It will remain with me while I turn around in the driveway and until I am several houses away. Same thing happens when I return. I am waiting to catch her complaining about me to her sister but they never talk about me. Apparently I am not the center of their universe.


33 thoughts on “Blue Teeth

  1. Keys that beep until you put them away? Genius! My son has an app through which his fitness tracker can signal his phone to say (loudly), “I’m right here!” It catches me by surprise sometimes, but it’s very useful.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Maybe one day you’ll pull up and hear her talking to an unknown man, telling him your upcoming appointments, routine for daily walks or something. Of course, you’ll imagine it’s some tawdry affair…until you realize it’s a handyman she’s been “seeing” for years who comes over and de-Geoff-ifies your recent Honey Dos so they last, but didn’t want to hurt your feelings. Then you’ll drive away to get her candy and flowers. 😽😽😽

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I need to develop something that converts Bluetooth signal to a visible aura of, oh, blue. Call the lost phone and watch for the blue haze arising from your couch cushions.

    Yes, with my imagination I could be a zillionaire if I actually knew anything.

    Liked by 1 person

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