My wife now has a Tile that allows her phone to beep her keys. And her keys can beep her phone. What a genius reciprocal feature. Except she can outfox any failsafe system. She is capable of losing her phone and keys at the same time. Sometimes they are not even in the same place. We plan to put our television in charge of beeping the remote because we cannot easily misplace the television set. The universal remote connects us to the universe. I want to order car keys that beep when we pull into the driveway and keep sounding off until deposited in the key drawer. Just like the technology for seat belts which beep until buckled. Since we pay tens of thousands of dollars for these vehicles, they should come with five sets of keys. But I think we are actually headed for keyless systems. One unnerving technology anomaly I have noticed: If my wife is on her cellphone in the house when I turn on the car in the garage, bluetooth will transfer her conversation onto the car speaker. It will remain with me while I turn around in the driveway and until I am several houses away. Same thing happens when I return. I am waiting to catch her complaining about me to her sister but they never talk about me. Apparently I am not the center of their universe.
-
Follow
Following
Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
Suicide Squeeze 
This is hilarious, Geoff. I need to get my wife to read your post – I’m not sure if I will survive afterwards, but it is so on the money 😂🤣😂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I barely survive my wife’s reading of my posts and only because she has a sense of humor.
LikeLiked by 1 person
and then we will need noise canceling headphones to drown out all of the beeping sounds
LikeLiked by 5 people
‘Smart’ ones that will beep when we need to put them on to cancel out the noise of all that beeping! 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think that is why old people are scheduled for deafness.
LikeLiked by 1 person
good design planning
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lol Geoff. We have some of the same stuff going on. I long for the simple days to be back!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, I would trade some conveniences for simpleness.
LikeLike
Keys that beep until you put them away? Genius! My son has an app through which his fitness tracker can signal his phone to say (loudly), “I’m right here!” It catches me by surprise sometimes, but it’s very useful.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Wow, that is amazing.
LikeLike
Instead of a key drawer, maybe you should keep the keys hanging on the TV. The one thing you feel you can’t lose.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hmm, you are on to something. The visibility would get us looking for keys before we are in emergency mode. I hate looking for them when we are trying to head for the Emergency Room.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah, life is all about timing!
LikeLiked by 1 person
your wife and her sister may be lulling you into a false sense of security with that bluetooth stuff…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah, they have been talking a lot about the poisons they are using in their gardens for for pest control.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’d be a little concerned if I were you, and I’d stay away from the garden…
LikeLiked by 1 person
I like the Tile idea. I need one on everything.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah, maybe I could get a beeper to warn me when my zipper is down when I leave the house.
LikeLiked by 1 person
They do talk about you. I am sure of that. I am starting to imagine the image of two sisters talking about you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Luckily, I don’t want to know what they are saying. It would be very embarrassing.
LikeLike
Maybe one day you’ll pull up and hear her talking to an unknown man, telling him your upcoming appointments, routine for daily walks or something. Of course, you’ll imagine it’s some tawdry affair…until you realize it’s a handyman she’s been “seeing” for years who comes over and de-Geoff-ifies your recent Honey Dos so they last, but didn’t want to hurt your feelings. Then you’ll drive away to get her candy and flowers. 😽😽😽
LikeLiked by 1 person
I was thinking hit man rather than handy man, but maybe she doesn’t read his blog.
LikeLiked by 2 people
🤣😂🤣
LikeLike
I am totally in favor of Handy Man or Handy Nan services that could fix the despair of our disrepair. When we downsize, buyers who flip houses will drool at our “as is” price.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Or you could have one key that’s the size of your television.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You do think out of the box. But we are able to lose our automobile in parking lots, so even great size does not help that much.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It was worth a shot.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Or maybe there’s just nothing to complain about. Oh, dear, I’m cracking myself up.
LikeLiked by 1 person
🤣
LikeLike
I need one of the phone/key arrangements. 👀
LikeLiked by 1 person
They save a lot of wasted time if nothing else.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I need to develop something that converts Bluetooth signal to a visible aura of, oh, blue. Call the lost phone and watch for the blue haze arising from your couch cushions.
Yes, with my imagination I could be a zillionaire if I actually knew anything.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Maybe you know too much!
LikeLike