Paraquat

Paraquat is apparently a toxic weed and grass herbicide developed by tort lawyers. I bought it in the quart size. I knew it was a funny word but always thought it referred to a pair of quats and I grew plenty of those pimples. They multiply into quatroquats. I even named my parakeet “paraquat.” If my occasional hand tremor develops into Parkinsons, I have “valuable rights” according to television commercials. They encourage me to pursue “substantial monetary settlements” if I have been exposed to paraquat. I just established documentation that I drank it by the quart. Now I just have to wait to get sick. But I regret googling paraquat because it got less funny and shortened a promising post. I think I will schedule it on Christmas Day when traffic will be light.

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