Bad Things I Have Done

I said my brother crayoned on the dining room wall when I did it.

I lied and implicated another after removing a book from the classroom.

I cheated in Chemistry class to get a D after flunking it first semester.

I screamed at my kids over trivial matters.

I drove home when I had too much to drink.

I wrote a letter of apology that was passive aggressively insincere.

I “liked” a Blog post I did not read.

I only got as far as the 1990’s before I skipped to the punchline because I was exhausted from winnowing down the long laundry list of regrets and separating them from Bad Things I Did That I Do Not (Yet) Regret. I was also getting a little depressed. But the exercise provided a great prompt for New Year’s Resolutions. In 2022, I will no longer crayon on the walls or lie to nuns. I will not cheat on Chemistry tests. I will only scream at my children over matters of great import like who ate the last doughnut. I will only drink when Blogging and I will no longer Blog while driving. I will not write any apologies and I will now skim posts before I “like” them.