Bad Things I Have Done

I said my brother crayoned on the dining room wall when I did it.

I lied and implicated another after removing a book from the classroom.

I cheated in Chemistry class to get a D after flunking it first semester.

I screamed at my kids over trivial matters.

I drove home when I had too much to drink.

I wrote a letter of apology that was passive aggressively insincere.

I “liked” a Blog post I did not read.

I only got as far as the 1990’s before I skipped to the punchline because I was exhausted from winnowing down the long laundry list of regrets and separating them from Bad Things I Did That I Do Not (Yet) Regret. I was also getting a little depressed. But the exercise provided a great prompt for New Year’s Resolutions. In 2022, I will no longer crayon on the walls or lie to nuns. I will not cheat on Chemistry tests. I will only scream at my children over matters of great import like who ate the last doughnut. I will only drink when Blogging and I will no longer Blog while driving. I will not write any apologies and I will now skim posts before I “like” them.

47 thoughts on “Bad Things I Have Done

  1. How can anyone skim your posts? They are so short, they are like Flash Fiction pieces soaked in real life waiting to be burned on the stake?

    Well better to come clean now than never, although some truths are best kept in your pants.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Hey Geoff, wishing you a great end of year and a better 2022 ahead πŸ™‚ I try, my parents used to say l was very trying πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I think drinking while blogging is obligatory. Sober blogging allows the truth to get in the way of a good story.
    Oh, BTW, don’t bother to apologize for “liking” my post that you didn’t read; I’ll know you’re insincere now that you’ve tipped your hand.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. This is dang funny, and the bit about the classroom lie was to a nun says more than anyone will ever know…unless that reader attended Catholic school. (I bet you raised your hand when Sister asked if when you grew up you were going to be a priest. ( Come on. Confess.)

    Liked by 1 person

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