Last Rites

Our culture marks first times with much fanfare: first birthday, first haircut, first day of school, First Communion, first time on skis, first flight, first date, first kiss, first speeding ticket, first beer, first marriage, first arrest, first time in rehab, first Blog post, and so on. But we do not get as many opportunities to celebrate last times, partly because of the difficulty in recognizing them. Ordinarily we do not know which birthday is our last unless we are choking on the cake and realize the attendees think Heimlich was an East German weightlifter. We celebrated my third son’s self proclaimed last day of school with a family cruise to Alaska but four years later, his lie was exposed when he enrolled in Debt Law School for three more years. The last time I went snow skiing was in my early 60’s with two sons and a daughter-in-law. I did not know it would be the last time I skied or we could have toasted the event after I tumbled down my last run on Bunny Slope. Three last times I would enjoy celebrating: last visit to the Dentist, last day weeding, and last time calling a plumber. If I knew which post would be my last one, I would use it to wallow in sentiment, making you weep between peels of laughter. This is clearly not such a final essay, although it would make for a dramatic reading at my Wake.


30 thoughts on “Last Rites

      1. I spent some time today writing a post prompted by your inspiration. A bit hard to finish as it is gramma weekend. 4 cherubs under 8. Love them dearly, but no fear for the weary. I’ll link the post to yours when I finish. Certainly won’t be as fun as yours, but a great ponder just the same. Have a good weekend. Donna

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  1. Last cigarette should get a fireworks show plus a Laurel and Hearty handshake. As for some of the rest, there’s an age where all the subset activities in the “Hey fellas, watch this!” category need to take a seat before the Sonny Bono, John Denver etc moment.

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  2. On the final dentist visit’s post, I’d love to know how much you’ve paid throughout your life…probably it’s one of the most expensive bills in your entire life!(I’m guessing you live in the US…US’s dentist bill is so expensive😭)

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    1. Sometimes I am asked what I spent on a family vacation or a child’s education and I am thankful costs are split up on prepaid fees, various credit cards, or a long period of time. So I do not know and do not want to because I would be horrified! I would probably never go on vacation.

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  3. Yes, the “first” is obviously over emphasized. For example, the first impression. It is often wrong. Seriously. If we rely too much on the “first”, we are denying a whole range of human experiences.

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  4. My doctor tells me that next time I have a colonoscopy it will be my last one. After a certain age, which I will be when I get the next one, it is unlikely that I will live long enough (10 years) to need another one. Death is kind of a brutal way to avoid having a colonoscopy…

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