Foraging for Food

In olden times, my bad eyesight would have been fatal. But I live in an era where optometry keeps me from going completely blind by correcting my vision with glasses and contacts. Even so, I am not able to forage for food. But people gather it for me and store it in buildings all over town where I can quickly pick it up or consume it. Or they will deliver it to me. Which is good because I have discovered why old people drive dangerously slow, especially at night when everything is black except for glaring and flashing lights. We cannot see anything. I have witnessed the struggles of both customer and server when an aging person struggles to order. So long ago, I told my wife and sons to order for me in restaurants when my mental capacity diminishes. They know what I like. But now when I ask a waiter to repeat the salad dressing choices, my son will interrupt: “He’ll have the Italian.” I have to keep reminding him, “Not yet, Ryan. Not yet.” And I am getting really nervous after overhearing my boys joke about the bizarre things they plan to order for me when the time does come.

28 thoughts on “Foraging for Food

  1. Here’s hoping the boys’ ordering fun at your expense runs to excessive garlic and onions versus something like a rhubarb greens salad – regardless of dressing, that’s just a bad deal for pops.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Well, Karma is an ass. If you made them eat vegetables when they were younger, you’re bound to pay for that 🙂 On a different note, I hope the day never comes when you lose the ability to order for yourself. People can be very old, healthy and independent at the same time. (The Queen of England comes to my mind).

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  3. I hope you will never lose such a capacity. I hope artificial intelligence will be widely adopted to help people to drive, to order, to do house chores. Basically any human deficiencies can be aided by our robotic friends. I hope. However probably it is too much to wish for. Still I have hopes. I hope that the robots will never go dysfunctional and order the wrong thing…

    Liked by 1 person

  4. “Yeah dad ‘ll have the fried monkey brains with lashings of spider snot please and make sure the sauce is reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally hot as well and no drink for him, just a plate of salted crackers, pops sure does like a challenge!”

    Liked by 1 person

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