By The Numbers

I always wanted to be taller. I have been punished for being frivolous because I am actually shrinking. Oddly, I never sought to weigh more or have a bigger waist. I would not be a better basketball player even if I were taller. Was I affected by expressions like Tall, Dark and, Handsome? Cowboy boots make me look taller. I tanned myself to a darker color until skin cancer excisions made my face less handsome. I should be going for Healthy, Happy, and Kind but I am too vain for that. Plus Kind ruins the alliteration Handsome would provide. And what about Smart, Humorous, and Rich? Where do those fit in? I should have straightened out my priorities when I was young enough to mold myself into the me I wanted. I still have not lowered my now exaggerated height on my driver’s license and live in fear of being caught in that lie at my next traffic stop. But I also leave my weight higher. Why do I not care about changing the record to the more flattering current weight? Wait. Who cares? I just nodded off while typing. I will get some caffeine while you break into small groups to analyze our obsessions with measurements. Miles per gallon for the car. Square feet of the house. Scores like IQ, SAT, and GPA. Sports are competitive, so we have golf handicaps, batting averages, and race times. Even our days are numbered with life expectancies, blood pressure, and cholesterol levels. This is going to sound weird but I even obsessively check how many visitors like and follow my Blog! Funny how we resent being treated like a number when we define ourselves by numbers.


29 thoughts on “By The Numbers

  1. It’s been five or six years ago I got a ticket for floating a stop sign in a zero traffic warehouse district. My license says hair-brown. On the ticket the lady cop wrote hair-gray. I was pissed. As a public servant couldn’t she have let my self delusion be?

    Liked by 3 people

  2. My favorite phrase of the day, “ruins the alliteration”. Hahaha. That’s so funny. And you are such a wonderful person and you don’t need the “height” to add to your charm. I have to tell you the desire for “height” among us, the Asians, are unbelievable. I don’t understand this. Historically we didn’t desire height so much, but nowadays everybody wants to have the height, the legs, the big eyes etc. We are so superficial and we just can’t help it.

    Liked by 1 person

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