Death of a Wallet

My brother Kevin had a ritual for assigning blame. When tensions were high over some family disaster, he would direct the arguments into an apportionment of blame game. I recently lost my wallet by throwing it in the trash. So I admit to 1% of the blame for losing it. I assign equal 33% shares of blame to my wife, daughter-in-law, and granddaughter who were distracting me. The argument and negotiation over percentages of blame focuses everyone on sharing blame and can diffuse tension with laughter. Or it can escalate the argument into rage. So far I have increased my offer of blame acceptance to 10%. Still I have been inconsolable over the loss of my driver’s license, my credit cards, my Medicare and supplemental insurance cards, my Senior Parks pass, and my card that says: “I am a very important Catholic; In case of an accident, please notify a Bishop.” But today, I had an epiphany. I did not lose my ability to drive a car. So why am I pouting? I did not lose my credit. Other people have real problems. I did not lose my health insurance. I did not lose my right to visit National Parks. I do not need the Last Rites just because my wallet was buried before me. I did lose $200 in cash but I can write that off as a Blogging business expense. Wait, I think it was $300.


38 thoughts on “Death of a Wallet

  1. I hate when that happens–a lot of hassle to replace everything. You must be seriously distracted. When we are with other people and doing something, we lose our attention on such small items like a wallet. It is said even well trained spies make all kinds of careless mistakes on their mission.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. The only thing I have ever experienced that might possibly be worse was when I had mine fall in the toilet after I had just used it(the toilet). On a serious note, my daughter lost hers at an airport and it was a real pain in the nightmare to get the stuff replaced.

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  3. I lost one by thinking I’d tossed it on the counter but actually tossed it in my tool bag for electrical issues (seldom used). I found it a year later. Cash? What’s that? With a wife in grad school and a daughter even if I had any it was short lived. So I quit carrying it. I hear it looks funny now. If you need a blue sky “consultant” receipt for that $400 let me know.

    Liked by 4 people

  4. If I have to plug the phone in the charger and throw the waste in the dustbin, I throw the phone in the dustbin, plug the waste in the charger and wonder why it isn’t plugging in like a perfect dummy! You may not even get what I mean.
    I’m thaaat bad. This is exaggerated Ofcourse, but I’m extremely capable of doing this. You should TOTALLY allocate 33% (or more) of the blame to your wife, granddaughter, etc.. for distracting you! And you don’t need to take 10% of the blame at all! It’s not your fault. I’m with you on this one (but don’t tell anyone so 🤫).

    Liked by 3 people

  5. Back in the 1950s when a $20 bill was a lot of money, my dad gave me one to hold on to. when the evening was over and we were done watching TV and we were heading to bed, my dad told me to give him back the $20, but I didn’t have it. Apparently my mom thought it was trash as I had crunched it up and she threw it away. Everyone was relieved when she found it in the garbage can.

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  6. I love this sentence – my card that says: “I am a very important Catholic; In case of an accident, please notify a Bishop.”Sorry you lost a couple of hundred dollars. Write it off as expenses for memory exercises 😉 I had a good laugh reading this, though it is not nice to laugh at your experience but you write it with so much humor, it was hard not to laugh!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I lost my wallet once, although I have only myself to blame. In order to replace my driver’s license, I had to complete a form from the DMV and the form needed to be notarized. When I went to the notary they wanted a photo ID to prove my identity, but sadly that was what I was there trying to replace. It was a real catch-22. But I wasn’t carrying $600 in cash, or whatever that amount is up to now!

    Liked by 1 person

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