Medicinal Errors

I try to brag about not taking any medications but I apply sunscreen every day all year round. Winter is easiest because often only my face is showing. I started using this sunscreen “medicine” after the removal of one little basal cell over thirty years ago. Since then I have had maybe 50 excisions, including two melanomas. So I have to wonder if sunscreen causes more skin cancer than it prevents! I usually apply creams from tubes where the zinc oxide turns me pasty white but recently my vanity prompted me to borrow a clear spray can before a party. I usually avoid cans where you rotate the top to open and close the nozzle. I turn the top every which way, press and nothing comes out. Is the can empty? Is the nozzle clogged? I squint to try and locate the nozzle. Error one: not taking time to put on reading glasses. We have at least 200 pairs stashed in every nook and cranny around our house. Well, at least every nook. I have no idea what a cranny is. Error two: pointing what I guessed was the nozzle straight at my eyes to get a better look. Error three: pressing down on the cap to see if anything would come out. Something did. Suntan spray saturated my eye and nose. Error four: being shocked and wasting a second to look away and release my thumb from the cap. Unlike the rest of my body, my eyes fortunately have retained reflexes and shut quickly on their own. Clearly I am way more likely to die of stupidity than skin cancer.

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