Ocean’s Fourteen

George Clooney gave away one million dollars in cash to each of his 14 closest friends (“The Boys”) at a 2013 dinner party he hosted at his home. The February/March edition of AARP The Magazine reminded me that the cash was delivered in fourteen suitcases. Other sources have reported that twenty dollar bills were used and that Clooney later covered $3.4 million in taxes. Starting in the last century, I have attended regular dinner parties (usually twice a year absent a Pandemic) with up to 15 others in a Boys group that plays the card game Hearts. No one has given away any amount of money. In fact, we do not even compete for a token cash prize. The winner actually has to pay for engraving his name on a travelling trophy. We play for the pleasure of dumping the Queen of Spades on others. When I receive “the Bitch,” my mates erupt in cheers and high fives, rubbing in the 13 point penalty. I bring my own dinner to the party and guard it carefully even though the host provides a wonderful meal. Who knows what these Boys might slip into my food. One percent of one million dollars ($10,000) is possibly a proportionate amount for our Hearts Crew relative to the Clooney million. But if someone were rich and generous enough to give away that kind of cash, I expect the host would probably hire one of his sons to mug me on the way to my car while another son videotaped the assault for viewing at the next dinner party. Nonetheless, some in my group would rather hang with each other than hobnob with the Clooney Crew, no matter how much money is at stake. That is how crazy they are. At least I feel better than being Clooney’s 15th best friend.

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