Lily of the Valley

Did you pull up my Lily of the Valley flowers? How often do you get that question? Any credit for my amazing year of pandemic inspired weeding evaporated. I wondered aloud whether moles eat Lily of the Valley plants because my pets have clearly emerged from hibernation. I do not specifically remember weeding out any Lily of the Valley flowers but if investigating this crime, I would suspect me because: (1) My accuser and I are the only two people who would ever pull either weeds or flowers in our garden; (2) I am the one who cannot tell the difference between a weed and a flower; and (3) I have been convicted of uprooting flowers in the past because like a four leaf clover, they hide so easily among the forest of weeds. My transgressions are never premeditated as no one would ever intentionally do extra weeding. The silver lining is the likelihood that I will be removed from weeding duty just like I have been permanently banned from the laundry room ever since the Pink Clothing Fiasco of 1998. Not loading the dishwasher correctly has also worked to my advantage. I gave up brushing my teeth for awhile but found that no one else would do it for me between dentist visits. The one domain I can truly claim for myself is taking out the garbage. I have trouble screwing that up. No one else in the household cares that much if garbage, recyclables, and yard waste are sorted perfectly. No one worries if I forget to take the garbage out since they would rather store it in my truck than drive that clunker with the stick to the Dump. I hope the Easter Bunny is back this year bringing a Lily of the Valley or two.

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