Beep Beep

Beep. Beep. Beep. Such an annoying sound. Early Sunday morning, my cell phone beeped me awake. My son and daughter-in-law were both beeping me about a smoke alarm making that intermediate beeping sound in their Condo. Beep. Wait. Beep. Wait. Beep. I am the wrong person to call as evidenced by the wires hanging down from my hallway ceiling after a smoke alarm skirmish. I reminded my son that ripping out the device does not even stop the beeping. So I got in the car to go help with all the rituals of trying to reset the alarm, change perfectly good back-up batteries, turn off the power, curse, and then do it all again in reverse order. I was in a hurry so I grabbed a Mandarin orange for strength. I wanted to eat something before doing battle but the car goes beep, beep, beep. How does it expect me to put on my seatbelt when I am driving with my elbows on the steering wheel so I can I peel the orange? Beep. Beep. Beep. Alarms talk to each other and by the time I arrive, the smoke alarm has infected the carbon monoxide detector which is now also beeping. I am persecuted by beeping. The dryer at home beeps even though I do not care when the clothes are dry and do not want to go to the laundry room and deal with the bleeping beeper. The oven beeps. The answering machine beeps. The discontinued security system still beeps. I hate the interruptions, the noise pollution, and my own inability to stop the beeping. Beep. Beep. Beep. I am sorry that the Roadrunner ever popularized the beep. Someone should invent a Beep Detector that disables devices emitting beeps.

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