Jury Summons

On Monday, I received an official jury duty notice requiring Superior Court service beginning on Tuesday, November 3rd. Maybe they just want me to count ballots. I never ever received a summons until I retired. Since then my name has come up a half dozen times. My first experience was serving on a four week murder trial. Since then I have been screened out based on questionnaire answers or removed by preemptory challenge. I once postponed because of travel plans but did overkill on the appeal by claiming sufficient fulfillment of my civic duty, caretaker status for grandchildren, age over 70, mental impairment, social dysfunction, and poor hygiene. Apparently I still meet the minimum standards. Now the pandemic makes me freer than ever. I am not traveling. And my daughter-in-law cut her work hours and removed me from most homeschooling duties after witnessing my teaching style (Yelling) when I was unaware she was still in the house. So I can comply with the latest jury summons even though I will never be seated. The murder trial ended in mistrial. They cannot ask me how I voted (I supported conviction) but when they figure out I was involved in a mistrial, the odds favor bumping me for someone else without that potential baggage. Pandemic voir dire is done by remote video so it will be easier to participate in jury selection than slogging through the bureaucratic exemption process. Election days should still be holidays, so I will honor tradition and appear on camera in festive campaign costume with political buttons. My backdrop will include hysterically inappropriate signs that should get me permanently disqualified and/or arrested.


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