I was playing Jeopardy on Zoom last week and learned a few things. I discovered that Golden is a city in Colorado and Orange is a city in New Jersey. To make room for that information, I had to delete from my brain my Kindergarten teacher’s name and the quadratic equation. Due to the pandemic restrictions, the factoids in my head are practicing social distancing and so capacity has been cut to 50% in Phase 2 Old Age. I also learned that following a simple instruction like ringing a bell before shouting out an answer is very difficult for me when I am under pressure. My Kindergarten teacher tried to teach me the sequence of raising my hand before reciting the quadratic equation but I never mastered that skill. And frankly I cannot even figure out where the pressure is coming from when I am in a virtual cocktail hour with friends who would appreciate hearing funny wrong answers more than boring correct ones. And the host announced that the winner would receive a PCC shopping spree at their own expense. I do not even need one of those. I learned that my television is defective when I identified orange as the color of the French Open clay courts. Apparently they are red and that cost me some virtual money. I think another round of Jeopardy has been scheduled so I have been practicing at home. Any time my wife asks when I am going to take the garbage out, I ring a bell before answering. This gets more hysterical every time I do it, partly because my wife gets less amused with the repetition. I am hoping she will eventually just take out the garbage herself.


3 thoughts on “Jeopardy

  1. OK, now you’re stretching my willing suspension of disbelief. Who doesn’t know that Coors beer is brewed in Golden, Colorado?
    I’ve also taken the liberty to note (-b+-√b^2-4ac) / 2a) what you have so callously discarded, as any moment now you will need to look it up to calculate the tip on your next UberEats order.


  2. Well, at least I still know Coors is in Colorado and resists union organizing. I would know more about uber but Fr. Carroll considered it suggestive and would not teach it in Latin class.


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