Six Foot Poles

Too bad we got rid of Drive-In Movies awhile back. They would come in handy in a social distancing economy. A century ago during the Spanish Flu, people would not touch you with a ten foot pole. Now we think we can enforce social distancing with a six foot pole. Our lifestyles are in transition. The six foot pole manufacturers are making money. Meanwhile, I lick only my own plate now that the Coronavirus is striking people who share food. My wife gets really mad when I write things like that. She thinks I should be embarrassed that I am licking any plates at all. But of course I am only exaggerating for effect because it makes me a funnier person. Just like alcohol does. So, yeah, alcohol causes some of the confusion. On staycations, day drinking creeps into the lifestyle. When my head is face planted on my plate, it gives the impression that I am licking it. Actually I am just passed out on the plate. The funnier I get, the more annoyed my wife becomes. So I should clarify that she never licks her plate. She does not even use a plate. Except when she throws one at me.

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