Carrot Juice

When I was young, my Mother told everyone I had a healthy appetite. That was her euphemism for: Geoffrey eats like a pig. To be clear, the pig comparison applied to both the quantity of food consumed and the table manners involved. Whether her friends understood the euphemism or not did not matter to me because young boys of my era were proud to belch, play hand pump armpit music, and inflict grossness by any possible means. Healthy food at the time included roast beef, potatoes with gravy, apple pie ala mode, and whole milk. Today a “healthy appetite” would apply to someone who nibbles kale and sips organic carrot juice. Last Wednesday I ran over three miles, recorded over 20,000 Fitbit steps, and worked in the garden. On Thursday morning, I did my daily weigh-in and was unpleasantly surprised to see I had gained a pound. This should not have been a shock because everyone knows I have a healthy appetite. I just did not realize you could gain weight if you pigged out to the point of gluttony on kale and carrot juice.

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