Mariah-Rose Marie has mocked gluten free water and cage free strawberries in The New Yorker. Even people eating Vegan vegetables and lead free honey must see the humor in those labels. I am skeptical about no-blood cheddar cheese. I am not interested in either blood or no blood cheese. The imagery is so bad that even if no such labels exist, I may never eat cheddar cheese again. Marie stretches the satire with a reference to cereal that is 100% free of human remains. That is a good thing but I have been naively assuming that all cereal is 100% free of human remains. I think human remains should only be mentioned if a food product is less than 100% free of such remains. If a cereal is 99.4% free of human remains, I am definitely interested because: (1) I am not eating any of it; (2) I am only buying enough to give as Christmas gifts to people on a certain hit list I maintain; and (3) I am engaged in a special project where such a product would be useful (details are secret to avoid ruining the surprise).
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Suicide Squeeze 
When they say they only use “100% Real Cheese.” Are they thinking we’re going to congratulate them for not using fake? I’m then suspicious of what they are allowed to define as “real” cheese.
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That’s why I like to cut the cheese right in the store.
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That reply makes it just 20% humor free.
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