Australian scientists just recently deciphered an ancient Babylonian clay tablet known as Plimpton 322, revealing the world’s oldest and most accurate trigonometric table. The tablet was discovered by Edgar Banks over a century ago in an excavation of the ancient Sumerian city Adab. The tablet has been dated between 1822 and 1762 B.C. and may have originated in the city of Larsa. It contains a series of numbers known as Pythagorean Triples, ironic since the Greek mathematician Pythagoras was not even born until about 540 B.C. Presumably the Greeks will be disappointed with the discovery and may wish to contest authenticity. But Babylonians are celebrating wildly and calling for the renaming of the Pythagorean Theorem. Elsewhere, the discovery has not attracted as much attention as Real Housewife reruns and preseason football games. Some high school students were initially excited until they learned they would still have to take Geometry and Trigonometry. Donald Trump dismissed the fake news with a tweet that claimed Americans were making Trigonometry tables and chairs long before either the Babylonians or Greeks. He also noted that Australian scientists were loser liberal conspirators trying to distract the world from coverage of his election victory over Hillary Clinton last November.

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